10. The Sneaky Ways That Shame Can Lead To Overwhelm

Here's what Brené Brown has to say about shame:

"I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging — something we've experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.

I don't believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous." 

There will always be critics, but sometimes, our inner critic can be the loudest voice.

It's important to question the initial thoughts your brain delivers. While your brain's main job is to keep you safe, it often doesn't help when you feel shame. Instead, it's more productive to examine our thoughts and distill the stories we may be writing in our heads.

Experiences that trigger shame can often reinforce feelings of imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and people-pleasing – all of which can lead to feeling overwhelmed. It’s like we're trying to solve the wrong problems with the wrong solutions. This approach will never deliver the outcomes we want most.

Today, on The Overwhelm Cure Podcast, I'm exploring the connections between shame and overwhelm.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• The role of shame in creating overwhelming feelings and how it can lead to unproductive behaviors like overworking and people-pleasing.

• A personal story about experiencing shame during a community planning meeting.

• How concepts such as imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and people-pleasing all contribute to feelings of overwhelm.

• The importance of recognizing the core issues rather than those our negatively biased brain tends to sense.

• A practical tool to use when we notice our shame triggers, helping us navigate our emotions and foster self-compassion.

If you need support moving through shame and feeling overwhelmed, get in touch. 

You're invited to join me at the next Dare to Lead Training happening on March 20. You still have time to join us!

Timestamps: 

00:00 Introduction to Shame and Overwhelm

01:01 A Personal Story of Shame

05:11 Understanding Imposter Syndrome, Perfectionism, and People Pleasing

07:34 Dealing with Shame and Rewriting Your Story

19:08 The Role of Shame in Our Lives

31:45 The Impact of Toxic Workplaces

34:29 Dare to Lead Training Invitation