Growing Old Is a Gift. How To Be an (Awesome) Old Person
You’ve no doubt heard the comments about getting old.
Falls, memory problems, isolation and loneliness, depression, pain, retirement, changing family relationships… I could go on.
And even hearing chalk up their latest “senior moment” with sentiments like, “Getting old sucks.”
We have the idea of aging all wrong.
I’ve had the privilege of watching several grandmothers age into their 90s, and I’ve learned a lot from each of them about what makes getting older more fun.
My husband and I learned to play pickleball on the weekend with friends, which has historically been an older person’s sport, and we all agreed that we would make excellent older adults.
In our culture, we’re socialized to fear aging and avoid thoughts about getting older.
It’s common to live in the moment and use phrases like “Seize the day” and “You only live once.” While being present and living in the moment is important, planning for the future is equally essential.
When it comes to aging gracefully, here are 4 things to consider:
1. Do you have any role models of older people you’d like to be like?
What was it that you love about them and their life? The people who I love to watch get older are the ones who are enjoying their life and living life on their terms. I adore that they have a lot of experience, wisdom, patience, and time and have learned to look at life from a bigger perspective.
2. There’s no timeline for life.
One of the philosophies I live by is to be a lifelong learner. My maternal grandmother embraced this to the fullest. In her retirement, she swam, went cross-country skiing, learned to paint, knit, made quilts, travelled, and even got a tattoo. She taught me how to garden and bake and would spend hours “shooting the breeze” with family and friends. Things that I want to learn that I haven’t had a chance to do yet are to play the cello and knit. I also want to play more golf and pickleball, start a bridge club, learn tai chi, do lots of cooking and baking, tend a garden, go on more date nights with my husband, visit the symphony, and walk my chihuahua.
3. Think about your quality of life.
It’s not so fun to live to be a hundred if you’re bedridden or depressed. When I glimpsed at the quality of life that both of my grandmothers had, side by side, one had a significantly better experience than the other in terms of mobility and pain. Something I hadn’t thought about is that if you don’t have the strength to get yourself bathed and to the toilet, you have to go into a nursing home, which is something I prefer to avoid. Staying active and strong ensures that you can live independently for as long as possible, in your own home, driving your car, partaking in important family and friend events, and enjoying travel.
4. Changing roles as we age can create problems with our self-concept and identity.
As children get older and grow their own families, parents can wind up feeling that they're not helpful or needed. As people contemplate retiring or changing roles, they can feel lost or even unsure of who they are without that job. This happens because we can confuse who we are with what we do. We are so much more than our role as a parent or job at work. It can be helpful to explore who we are outside of our roles and jobs so that our ability to be open to new possibilities is in great shape.
I’m confident in my ability to get old. I love sipping tea from delicate china cups, laughing over card games, playing pickleball, sharing advice, and baking cookies. I hope you’re able to enjoy your golden years with me!
