Replace Your New Year’s Resolutions With Habits To Finally Reach Your Goals
Are you revisiting your New Year’s resolutions? You can review them any time of year. No need to wait until January! It’s always a great time to think about what worked and didn’t this year and make a plan for the coming year.
Now, the whole “new year, new you” concept speaks to the hope and promise of a new year but often leaves us feeling frustrated and defeated in a few short weeks.
Let’s talk about goal setting and how to create the habits that will help us make lasting changes to tackle these issues for the last time.
Our brain is really good at focusing on the things that aren’t going well and ignoring the things that are working.
Here are things to ask yourself to help you start the year off on the right foot:
1) List the things that are going well.
What do you want to keep moving forward?
What do you want to continue doing?
At the top of my list is prioritizing my health and wellness. This hasn’t always been a priority for me, but I realize that without my mind and body working at full capacity, I’m not able to “do” the rest of my life.
I also want to keep prioritizing my family. It’s not always easy to say “no” to work demands that appear to be pressing or important. Setting firm work hours and telling myself I can put things on the work to-do list for tomorrow or next week works well. This is how I practice constraint with my work demands.
2) Setting boundaries.
You hear this a lot from me. I’m letting go of people-pleasing and prioritizing energizing and fun experiences. We need to remind ourselves from time to time that we’re doing the best we can and often doing a pretty good job. Remember to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back for all you’ve done this year.
3) Decide what you want to stop doing.
What’s no longer serving you?
What is getting in the way of you ultimately achieving your goals?
One thing I want to stop doing is beating myself up when I make mistakes. It’s normal to like to review what happened and learn from it, but our brains also like to beat us up to make sure we never feel badly again. This doesn’t work. I want to start reviewing what happened and then let it go.
4) What do you want to start doing?
The list can get long here, but write it all out anyway. Then, prioritize. Our human brains can only handle creating one new habit at a time, but we can make a plan to add a new thing every month, and by this time next year, you’ll be surprised at what you can do!
Also, if your thing includes multiple steps, break it down into bite-sized pieces and do those things each week. Your list shouldn’t look like this: lose 10 pounds, quit smoking, run a marathon, paint the house, and go back to school. Instead, if your goal is to exercise because you don’t right now, try this:
Week 1 — purchase new shoes
Week 2 — find an online program, gym, or activity you enjoy
Week 3 — schedule exercise 20 minutes a day, 3 days a week
Week 4 — schedule exercise 30 mins a day, 3 days a week. Then, 4 days a week, 5 days a week, 6 days a week, 7 days a week, and increase the time or intensity until you reach your goal.
Your brain may protest how “slow” your progress will be with this plan. Our brains are quite impatient and want results yesterday. However, the alternative is to jump into a program, feel stiff and sore, find the activity hard, and then quit after a few weeks. Who hasn’t done this?
At the same time, breaking down your goal into smaller steps will help your brain feel like the goal is attainable.
Here are two things that will make your goal achievable:
Daily reminders
Perseverance
Daily reminders can come in the form of morning journaling, which can look like this: I’ll exercise for 30 minutes a day, 7 days a week, so that I can be stronger and have more energy. And then schedule it. When are you going to do the thing? Once you pick the time, do it even when you don’t feel like it. If you’re sick or injured, please make a good decision about your capacity. Otherwise, persevere.
To attain any goal, we need to apply massive action.
It often takes longer and more time and energy than we think it should. This is normal. Managing your mind and the thoughts that will get in your way is the key to perseverance.
Have you ever said to yourself, “Other people don’t have a hard time doing this,” or “ I’m never going to be able to do this,” or “I should have to work this hard to achieve this goal?” Yep, me too, and a whole lot more.
Our brain loves to conserve energy and really wants us to feel good in the moment. To achieve our goals, we need to acknowledge the thoughts that try to hold us back and talk back to them.
Thoughts that can help move us closer to our goals can sound like:
“This is a marathon, not a sprint. If I keep going, I can do it.”
“I believe I can achieve my goal.”
“I may not feel like it, but taking action will not kill me.”
“I can do things I don’t feel like doing because consistency is the key.”
“I may not see results right away, but my future self will be glad I took action today.”
“I no longer accept my excuses. I’ve committed myself, and I will stick to it.”
“I don’t have to be perfect to make progress.”
Remember to celebrate all your wins to stay on track with your new habits.
Did you stick to your plan today? This week? This month? Celebrate your effort!
And if you didn’t stick with your plan, explore how you can learn from your setback and still move forward with this new understanding.
Keep going! You can do this!
Need some help working toward a goal? Explore how we can work together.
