How a Gratitude Practice Can Ease Life's Overwhelm
"What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny." Robin S. Sharma
I've had more moments of overwhelm in my life than I know how to count.
As a kid, I remember performances like piano recitals and festivals were highly nerve-wracking. As an adult, working as a teacher was often overwhelming, as was parenting at times. When I was in those moments, it didn't seem as if anything could help, besides faking an illness.
After trying many things and looking at stress research, it's clear that one thing can be immensely helpful — gratitude.
Practicing gratitude can help shift our focus from being overwhelmed and in negative states to appreciation and joy, ultimately enhancing our mental well-being and life satisfaction. Source.
Our brains have a negativity bias, which means that its main goal is to keep us alive by looking for all of the things that could harm us in our environment. This trait has kept us alive for thousands of years but is not always helpful in our modern world.
When we're too focused on the negative, it's all we see, and we overlook evidence that goes against the contrary. When we balance our natural tendencies with intentional practices of gratitude, then our worldview becomes more balanced, which is vital for our mental health.
The concept of gratitude is simple but not easy.
The first step in becoming more grateful and moving away from negativity is to notice when we're feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
Next, notice the thoughts coming up, like "I can't handle this," "This is too much."
Give your brain a little mental hug because it's doing its job and trying to protect you.
Are those thoughts helpful in getting you what you want, which usually has to do something with being able to perform with minimal stress?
Probably not.
To override survival and live an intentional life, we can't just focus on what's wrong. We also need to notice what's going well.
Gratitude starts to shift our mindset from scarcity to abundance.
Notice what's going right, what you have in your life, how people are showing up for you, or how things are going your way. This is not meant to discount or disregard your feelings because they're essential and need to be felt. But most people stop at feeling overwhelmed and don't get to the next step of creating balance with gratitude.
When I was leading a team of community volunteers in building a playground at my daughter's school, I distinctly remember feeling overwhelmed on the day a major grant application was due. I had been working on getting letters of support, auditing financials, and writing convincing answers to their questions for weeks.
Then, I realized that I needed signatures from my committee members. I had been prepared for this application to be a lot of work, but the time, brain power, and follow-up were well outside of my expectations.
On top of that, I wasn't able to get ahold of the people I needed signatures from, so I wouldn't have time to courier the application. Instead, I would need to drive to the other end of town by 4:00 p.m. so that I could drop it off. I remember venting to my Community Recreation Coordinator, Laura Shewchuk, a woman from the City of Edmonton who guided me through the process.
She was so kind and supportive. She assured me that everything would be okay and that I was doing a great job. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I was very grateful for Laura and the community volunteers at that moment. I had been so focused on doing everything quickly and perfectly, and I got frustrated when life, kids, and even a speeding ticket got in my way.
Without knowing it, Laura reminded me that many things were going well and that sweating the small stuff was not going to make anything faster or better.
I was contributing to my experience of being overwhelmed by only focusing on what wasn't working, and my experience changed instantly when I started looking at the situation with eyes of gratitude.
Fast forward, we got the grant, and the playground was built … go team! I didn't need to be so stressed about the situation. It wasn't helpful, after all.
In her book, Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown defines gratitude as an emotion that allows people to appreciate what they value and feel connected to others.
Gratitude can help people celebrate goodness and participate more fully in life. Since we need to work against our brain's natural tendency to find the negative, to achieve gratitude, we need to create an intentional practice.
Start cultivating your gratitude practice today. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Say "thank you" in your mind during the day. Thank God, Mother Nature, the universe for waking up in the morning, for your health, for the abundance of food, shelter, clothing, for the people you love, for your job, a dishwasher that washes your dishes for you, and the smile on the face of a stranger on the street. You can probably think of a thousand more things!
Say "thank you" in person or in a handwritten card. Sharing our gratitude makes us feel great and spreads the love.
Keep a gratitude Journal where you write down three things you're grateful for at the end of each day.
Take a gratitude walk — get outside, take a breath, and notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. What do you appreciate?
Make time for meditation and prayer throughout the day.
Share your gratitude with others when the opportunity arises.
Ask others what they're grateful for.
Gratitude cultivates joy.
Gratitude isn't created merely by being happy. Happiness is created by being grateful.
There's the extra benefit of connecting us to others because we are noticing people's great qualities, not just the ones that frustrate us, and because our attitude is more positive, people like being around us.
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